Should adults ask their parents for money?

Snake

It absolutely blows my mind when I hear about grown adults living off their parents.  Asking for help from your parents when you are going through a tough time is one thing, but living off your parents is a whole other topic.

Work for what you want and enjoy what you have

I come from a family where you do what it takes to live.  If you don’t have enough money to live you get a second job.  If you don’t have money to buy food you cut your monthly expenses.  I completely don’t understand adults who rely on their parents financially.

The reason I disagree with parents who pay their kids way is because I work hard for what I have.  Actually I’ve had two jobs since I was 16 and for that reason I really hate people who take advantage of other people.  I also hate people who don’t take responsibility for their own lives.  If you knew your parents would always bail you out would you flake out on your backup plans?

It’s up to a parent to say no

I have clients who just can’t say no to their kids; even though their kids are adults in their 30s and 40s they just won’t cut off their children financially.  My clients still make credit card payments for their kids, pay their rent and give them money for groceries.

If someone is going through financial difficulties it’s OK to ask your family and friends for help.  But I don’t think it’s OK for adults in their 30s and 40s to live off their parents and think it’s normal.

One could argue that these two women are financially dependent on their mother because she enables them.  If my Dad’s girlfriend always bails out her kids when they need money with no questions asked then she is only sending the message that their behaviour is OK.

As a parent there is a fine line between wanting to help your kids and teaching them how to be an adult.  This is why more parents need to teach their kids about money management from a very young age.

Photo by tahnyakristina

Originally published for Dinks Finance

 

6 comments

  1. […] Should Adults Ask Their Parents for Money? by Tahnya Kristina  […]

  2. I can understand if 20-something asks money to their parents since they’re just ‘starting out’ and might have student loans to pay, but 30 and 40-something should be able to live on their own! What if their parents can’t support them financially anymore? What would they do?! I agree that children should be taught money management when they are little.

  3. Mrs.AOK says:

    Sadly, for the most part, when adult children rely on their parents, it’s because of their parents. Some parents are enablers, thus when their child grows up, all they know is the help of Mom and Dad.
    If we want our children to succeed we *have* to start at a young age teaching responsibility.
    As far as an adult child asking for money from their parent, if they truly need it, I say it’s okay. I would suggest setting up a future payment plan, when the adult child can repay.
    Sometimes, people are down on their luck, and pride can hurt that luck more.
    I’ve seen people wait to the very last minute to ask for a hand….
    All the best-

    • That’s true. I think very often people take advantage of a situation (and that’s what this is) because other people let them take advantage of a situation. I think it’s very important for kids to learn about money at a young age and to learn the value of money by working. I’ve been working since I was 16. I admit my life in college would have been a lot easier if I didn’t have to work full time while going to school but I now have great work ethics because of it.

  4. Agreed! My mom has helped in the past gift the grand children with special treats she would like to give that we can’t afford, but that’s it and I feel fine drawing the line there. Great post!

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